Asking questions

Many parents believe that asking questions and getting accurate information is being adversarial or confrontational.  It only seems that way if that’s how the school treats you when you ask questions.  For the most part, schools don’t like questions because questions make them feel uncomfortable.  They feel uncomfortable because they don’t have the answers.  They don’t have the answers because they weren’t properly trained, don’t care, are restricted by their own union-driven contracts, don’t want to challenge or upset their coworkers, or are in denial that children with disabilities attend their schools and have a right to a free appropriate education under the law.

When it comes to asking questions that you need answers to those issues are not your problems.  You are not their response.  If they are resistant, difficult, antagonistic, challenging, vague, defensive, accusatory, then ask who you can go to get the accurate and complete answers.  Write a letter to that person stating the question you asked, the response you received, and a thank you for their time and assistance.  Keep a copy of the letter for your records.  Just remember, that if you don’t ask the questions you won’t have the accurate information on which to make informed decisions that significantly impact your child’s education and future.  And once again more valuable teaching and learning time has then been delayed or denied for your child.

When you ask questions, regardless of the response or attitude you get, you will remain collaborative and business-like.  This doesn’t mean you have to dress in a suit and carry a briefcase.  It refers to how you carry and present yourself in all your written and verbal interactions with the school.  “The pen is mightier than the sword” always applies when it comes to how parents should be communicating with school people regarding their child’s IEP or 504 plan.  Issues remain much clearer when you can maintain that perspective.  You need clarity on the issues for the sake of yourself, your child, and your family.

By the way, have you ever attended a school meeting where some school person has stated, “I have a lot of experience with children who have ______________.  This is what I have learned and how I have adapted so they can learn and succeed in my classroom.  In fact, let me give you information and resources to help you.”?  If you did, and this was said to you, and they followed through, then you probably wouldn’t be reading this right now.

Your child is not the first or the last child with a disability that has attended this school with needs similar to or the same as your child’s.  If you find that you are educating the team, bringing in articles to help them, explaining things, stop and ask why.  Shouldn’t they, in their years of experience and exposure to children and families like yours and their attendance at countless IEP, SST, and 504 meetings already be in a position to inform and educate you accurately and objectively?  One has to wonder and even ask that question at the next meeting.

Attending meetings

Go to meetings prepared and informed.  Otherwise, what’s the point?  To rehash and massage the same or new information in different ways that translate to-- nothing much said, empty promises, or patronizing “feel good” responses?  Responses which of course result in more delays, stress, denials, and anxiety for your child.

You first have to really know your child and accept your child.  How does your child learn?  How does your child’s disability impact his/her learning?  You have to know your child through his school records and what they say and don’t say.  You have to know the IEP and 504 processes, your rights, and how to be an effective and collaborative advocate.  You have to get support and critical information from an Educational Strategist & Consultant or Special Educational Needs Consultant (SEN) who can help you with various assessment protocols.  You have to have a good network of support people to bring with you to school meetings to share information, resources, and perceptions.  Otherwise, why waste your time?    And more importantly, why waste your child’s valuable teaching and learning time?  Each day that you don’t take the appropriate steps to be an informed decision-maker your child loses the opportunity to learn and gain valuable academic, social, and behavioral skills.

Procedural safeguards

Your state department of education and your local educational agency (i.e. school, school district, county office of education) have established and maintain procedures in accordance with IDEA and Section 504 to ensure that children with disabilities and their parents are guaranteed procedural safeguards with respect to the provision of a free appropriate public education by such agencies.

You have been given a copy of your procedural safeguards.  Read them.  They are important to you and will impact how you choose to make decisions at each and every school meeting regarding your child.

In general, schools will hand you the procedural safeguards, your rights, ask if you understand, and perhaps give a cursory explanation.  Most school team members are hard pressed to give more than a cursory explanation that’s accurate and informative.  You need to understand, in advance, how much they know about your rights and how much they support your rights.  Your rights and your child’s rights are important, so know them.  Don’t depend on others, especially the school.  Keep in mind that the school also has legal rights.  Ask the school to explain to you what rights they might choose to exercise against you.  Under what circumstances would they exercise those rights?  Can they share some examples to help you understand?  Don’t accept confidentiality as a reason not to give an answer.  You’re not asking for confidential information, you’re asking for public access information.  You are asking for general information and explanations to help you understand.  Ask where you can go to get more information on how school districts exercise their rights against parents and students. 

Also ask who handles their mediations and hearings and where you can access copies of decisions from their hearing office.  Also ask who the attorney or firm is that represents them.  Do some research on that attorney and/or firm to learn more about them through your state's Bar Association.  Have they had any sanctions or complaints filed against them? 

Lastly, find out how many times your school and/or district has filed due process against parents.  Search for and read those cases.  Find out how many times parents have filed due process against the school.  Search for and read those cases.  Then find out how many times parents have prevailed versus your school and/or district prevailing on those cases that went to hearing.  Discover what you can about mediation and resolution sessions—number of requests, how many went on to fair hearing, etc.  You won’t get the specific details such as names because of confidentiality but you should be able to get a sense of how the process works, how often it is used, who prevails, and how many go on to fair hearing.

Go to www.iepstudent.com to read what IDEA says about procedural safeguards.  Go to www.504student.com to read what Section 504 says about procedural safeguards.

Your Child’s Records

To effectively advocate on your child’s behalf you need copies of any and all school records.  The file tells a story about your child.  A story that you may be unaware of.  What’s so important about this story?  Well, things may seem to be going in an acceptable direction right now; however, you need to be prepared in case there is a change.  Don’t just base judgments and decisions on what’s happening right now or what you wish would happen or what you’d like to have happen.  Your child changes grades, changes schools, changes teachers, changes coursework, and changes activities over time.  You need to be prepared for those changes so you are not caught by surprise and unprepared rushing to catch up when things start to take a turn for the worst.

Write a letter to the school requesting copies of any and all records, including but not limited to, cum file, confidential file, discipline file, special education file, records, reports, notes, progress reports, incident reports, correspondence, tests, evaluations, assessments, etc.

You can add more to the list.  The point is that often schools don’t take the time to locate all the records to pass on to the parents.  By phrasing the letter with a list, it lets them know that you want any and all records.  It should not be left up to the staff person's interpretation of what you need.  Keep a copy of the letter for your records.

Schools may charge for copies so ask in advance, especially if you have limited resources.  They must have a method whereby parents can acquire copies even if parents don’t have the funds to pay for them.

At least once a year you want to make sure your set of school records are complete.  At those times you can request to review the files, compare them with what you already have, and then make copies of those pieces that are missing.  Look for things that have been added or changed.  Yes, unfortunately it is true, many schools have been known to go back and try to change records or forge signatures.  If you think something looks different than what you have, get a copy to compare, mark with sticky notes, and keep in your file.

Once you have the records put them in date order and begin reading.  All of them.  Line by line, page by page.  Use sticky notes and have paper and pencil handy for taking notes.  Try to be objective, set emotion aside, and get a real sense of how your child is being described.  What kind of a picture do these records paint about your child?  If a stranger picked up this file what would they think and know about your child?  Is it accurate?  As parents we sometimes get caught up in school judgments or subjective impressions about our child—belligerent, lazy, unmotivated, defiant, etc.  But is that really true or are you just frustrated or agreeing out of emotion?  Is it the result of secondary disabilities because your child’s needs are not being met appropriately?  Take these comments as a sign that you need more information about your child.  And that the school needs to get trained about your child and the IEP or 504 process.  Subjective impressions aren’t really helpful in finding solutions but they can certainly sway parents, teachers, law enforcement, and hearing officers.  Let’s focus on the facts that are supported by objective data.

You cannot ask that information about your child be removed from the file unless there is gross error.  However, you can correct the file by writing documenting letters.  For example, there may be an incident report about your child pushing someone that is not complete.  It only tells one side of the story and makes it look like your child was the instigator when he wasn’t.  To correct the records, write a letter citing the date and title of the document and then tell the full story.  Keep a copy of the letter for your records.  If there is something that you believe should not be in the file contact the principal and ask for the written polices on how items are changed or removed.

An Educational Strategist & Consultant or Special Educational Needs Consultant (SEN) will do a comprehensive and thorough record review and analysis, an Independent Needs Assessment Protocol.  This will become a critical communication tool used throughout the IEP or 504 plan process.  Don’t move forward without having this done.  The SENC's perceptions, assessments, insights, and recommendations can save you time, money, energy, and frustration in the long run.

Parent concerns

Whether or not the school team asks you, you need to state your parent concerns.  There is an appropriate and effective way to do that.  But first, let’s put this in the right context.  Many schools are not focused on the entire IEP or 504 process-- not your child’s future beyond their school, classrooms, curriculum, teachers, or even the present school meeting.  Good, bad, or indifferent that has now become your job.  You need to make certain the school team is focused on how the present decisions build a foundation for your child’s future.  IDEA and Section 504 have done this by stating their respective purposes.  It’s why these processes exist and why we are supposed to collaborate as a team to accomplish their over-reaching goals and purpose.  The purposes of IDEA and Section 504 are the driving foundational goals of the IEP and 504 plan.  Go to http://cactechassistance.tripod.com and click on the Power Point presentations.  Then go to www.iepstudent.com and www.504student.com.  Read and learn.

You should have already read through your child’s records as described above.  Now you need to read the file for a second time.  It may be tedious, it may take time, it may be frustrating but you have to do it.  Look at your written notes and what you marked with sticky notes and begin to write out your concerns.  When you write your concerns use the school’s words.  Quote them directly.  Concerns usually fall into general categories such as academics, socialization, behavior, speech and language, attention, organization.  You can sub-divide into further categories such as writing, reading, spelling, math, communication, time management, speech and language, pragmatics, safety, daily functions (i.e. toileting, hygiene, feeding), mobility, motor skills, hearing, vision.  You may discover more as you read through your child’s file this second time around.  You are making a list of concerns based on needs.  “Needs” is the key word because the unique individual needs of the child is what drives the process, not the child's diagnosis.   Again, quote directly from the documents.  Keep in mind that it’s not really the diagnosis of Tourettes, AD/HD, Autism per se that drives the process but the needs of the child. 

Many times I tell parents that because I have such a strong background of education, training, and experience in this field “I can fill in the blanks” so to speak.  So could any good professional in his/her area of expertise.  For example, I understand what a parent is trying to convey when she expresses her concerns about socialization for a child with a disability.  However, because schools don’t have the proper training, don’t care, or are in denial that children with disabilities attend their schools they will not be skilled at “filling in the blanks”.  That results in delays and denials for your child.  That results in your child’s needs not being met.  That results in loss of teaching and learning moments for your child.  Therefore, you have to have an Independent Needs Assessment Protocol done by an Educational Strategist & Consultant or Special Educational Needs Consultant (SENC).

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 Terminology you need to have defined

At your next IEP or 504 meeting you need definitions and explanations to some critical terminology and concepts.  Why at the next meeting?  Because you need to hear how the team defines this terminology so you can ascertain if everyone is on the same page.  You will want to ask for explanations or definitions of the following and be prepared to take notes…

Free appropriate education (FAPE)

Specialized instruction

Related services

Supplementary aids and services

Present levels of performance

Assistive technology

Accommodations

Modifications

Secondary disabilities

Access to the curriculum

Placement

Change in placement

Manifestation of a disability

The child’s specific disability

How the child’s needs that are not being met will impact learning and social and emotional development at school

The purpose of IDEA

The purpose of Section 504

The purpose of ADA

Child Find

An Educational Strategist & Consultant or Special Educational Needs Consultant (SENC) will provide you with more details and terminology.  The websites to check out are www.iepstudent.com, www.section504online.com, www.504student.com, www.ldcan.com, http://www.ourorhskids.pages.web.com/students, among others. 

Now go home and look up these definitions if you haven’t already done so.  Compare them with what the school told you.  If there is any discrepancy or variance in meanings notify the school with a letter.  Keep a copy of the letter for your records.  Include in the letter what they said and what the actual definition is.  Send to all team members.  Ask that at the next IEP or 504 meeting that these be explained again so everyone on the team understands them and the process.   Without that accurate foundational knowledge there will be poor design and implementation of the IEP or 504 plan.  Far too many schools have been in denial about the value, use, and purpose of an IEP or 504 plan.  They treat these documents more as just forms to fill out and to file believing they have now met their obligations to the parents and child.

Writing documenting letters

Everyone knows how to write a letter, especially when they are driven by emotion—frustration, anger, agitation, irritation, etc.  A documenting letter is a very different kind of letter that's takes skill to draft.  It’s based on knowledge of the law, knowledge of the IEP and 504 process, knowledge of the school team, knowledge of the child, knowledge of conflict and negotiation, knowledge of collaboration, knowledge of judicious exercise of rights, and the experience and expertise to draft a letter that has long and short term impact.  It takes time and careful deliberation.  It’s not a letter that cites the law, threatens, makes accusations, defends, or challenges.  Its foundation is interest-based technical assistance.  It is a letter that incorporates who you are, the process, and what the school is doing or not doing.  It is a delicate balance to incorporate all three components for maximum short and long term results.

Sending the wrong letter or sending the right letter to the wrong person or at the wrong time can sabotage all your efforts and progress.  Timing of the letter and who it is addressed to is critical.  Work with an Educational Strategist & Consultant or Special Educational Needs Consultant (SENC) for drafting documenting letters.

Informed-decision making

Are you making decisions at IEP and 504 meetings without complete and accurate information?  Does the school provide you with complete and accurate information?  How do you know?  Should you know?  Yes, you should because good decisions are made when based on accurate and complete information.  This is an exceptionally good reason to do your homework and hire an Educational Strategist & Consultant or Special Educational Needs Consultant (SENC).

How can you be an informed decision-maker with complete, accurate, and unbiased information?  How can you have meaningful participation in the IEP and 504 process without complete, accurate, nonbiased information?  How can you ensure your child’s right to a free and appropriate education without complete, non-biased, accurate information?  How can you be a knowledgeable member of the IEP or 504 plan team?

The signs that the school is not providing you with complete, non-biased, accurate information—sometime after the meeting you feel confused or uncertain about what was said, you discover that staff people are not following the IEP or 504 plan, you learn that what was agreed upon at the meeting is not happening, you get conflicting information, you are bringing literature for the team to read, you are bringing in professionals to educate the team, you are told things that are not true or questionable at best, you start doing research on your own to understand the process, etc., etc., etc.

Your child

Many school people will tell you that the child is the most important part of this process.  However, it is not words but actions and results that speak to the dedication and commitment to the child and his/her success and emotional and physical well-being.  Don’t just focus on the words.  Focus on the actions and results.  There is no reason why your child shouldn’t come home from school happy, confident, satisfied, proud, energized, motivated, interested, or excited unless someone isn’t doing their job. 

The information, tools, resources, strategies, support, training, and education that is available to each and every school staff person points in the direction of your child receiving a free and appropriate education.  Unless the school is in denial and not taking advantage of those options your child should be coming home from school happy, confident, satisfied, proud, energized, motivated, interested, or excited.  Your school may be operating in opposition to the spirit and the intent of the law.  Your school may be denying your child, deliberately or not, opportunities to learn, grow, develop, feel safe and secure, and feel good about who s/he is.  Your school may be sending a message to your child that it is shameful or disruptive or irritating or inconvenient that s/he has a disability or learning challenges to overcome.  They may be watering down the child’s curriculum trying to convince the child and you that they really can’t learn.  They may be creating an unmotivated child, a defiant child, a scared child, an anxious child, a child with learned helplessness.  They may be exacerbating your child’s symptoms of anxiety, depression, anger, frustration, moodiness.  "You can’t teach me if you don’t know how I learn."

Until the school rallies around to do right by your child and snaps out of its state of denial you will have to make sure your child has all the support and attention necessary to counter what is happening at the school.  Get your child involved in volunteer activities in and around the community.  Choose volunteer activities that they enjoy, where there are good mentors (older children and/or adults), where the child can feel good about him/herself.  Where the child can feel self-confident and is acknowledged for a job well done.  Where the child can experience success.  Keep written records of what’s working.  Ask for letters of recommendation and commendation on behalf of your child.

Enroll you child in activities such as self-defense, art, drama, sports, camping, computers, chess, music.  Don’t always look for the “fixes” such as tutoring, psychiatry, psychology, remediation, etc.  There has to be a balance where you child is being given messages of how to LIVE with their disability, how to gain necessary skills, and to appreciate who they are.  Not a message that they are broken, don’t fit, and need to be adjusted or fixed in order to function and fit in.  Children will fit in when they learn how to embrace who they are and how to LIVE with AD/HD, LIVE with Tourettes, LIVE with mental illness, LIVE with PDD, LIVE with Autism, LIVE with…

Let your child have the opportunity to explore and even try new things without the pressure of performing, being perfect, or sticking it out.  Why?  Because your child may not be given those same opportunities in school to explore and try new things.  If your school is in denial (you’ll know it is if your child is having problems) then your child is missing out on essential skills that contribute to their future ability to choose a career, get and keep a job, function independently, support themselves, and/or participate in any postsecondary education programs. 

It is important to remember that our children, many times, do not have the support, skills, experiences, and maturity to express themselves in socially acceptable ways.  Part of the IEP and 504 plan process is to help them in a very skilled and compassionate manner to accomplish this.  This is why IDEA and Section 504 provide for supports and services, supplementary aids and services, related services, accommodations, and modifications.  "You can’t teach me if you don’t know how I learn."

Work with an Educational Strategist & Consultant or Special Educational Needs Consultant (SENC) to help your child explore disability disclosure, self-advocacy, and strategies for academic and social success.  Also check out www.allkindsofminds.com and www.ldcan.com (click on socialization link) and view videos by Rick LaVoie.